STOP LOOKING FOR EXTERNAL VALIDATION
This was something I did in my earlier years in life; and I didn’t stop until my 4/5th year of college. (shoutout to all my 5th years out there; all that matters is that you finish)\
According to mytherpaynyc, ” This type of validation comes from others validating your individual feelings. It can take on many forms, such as Instagram likes, compliments, and sexual validation from others meaning they find you desirable. “
WHY DO WE LOOK FOR EXTERNAL VALIDATION ?
- When you seek lack, flaws or deficiencies in yourself constantly, you need other people to validate the good in you in order for you to see the good in yourself. When that external validation doesn’t come you feel even more inadequate as you stay focused on the bad in you. (www.kajalpandey.com)
- if an individual puts the opinion, approval, or recognition of someone else over their own feelings, they will need that external, other person’s validation on an ongoing basis. (psychology today)
CHECK OUT THIS POST BY PSYCHOLOGY TODAY
I would look for external validation in the form of likes; social media which I think has it’s pros and cons has programmed use to seek external validation rather than self-validation. We crave the validation from others without even validating ourselves. We put other people’s views above ours; which causes us to do or say things just to be validate by others.
We need to start validating ourselves, which is a form of self-love. I am not saying that validating from others is a bad thing but when you place others validating above your own then that will cause a problem in your life.
What’s Self-Validation ?
Self-validation is the ability to recognize and acknowledge your own internal experience. It is not about agreeing with someone or accepting their thoughts as your own; it is about being able to accept these thoughts and experiences as being valid. (psychology today)
Self–validation is accepting your own internal experience, your thoughts, and your feelings. Self–validation doesn’t mean that you believe your thoughts or think your feelings are justified. There are many times that you will have thoughts that surprise you or that don’t reflect your values or what you know is true. (psychology today)
Why do we need Self-Validation ?
We need self-validation because it teaches us to not depend on others to value us before we value ourselves. It teaches us to be responsible because we can’t always rely on others to make us feel better but we must rely on ourselves. It teaches us to value ourselves and not be insecure or doubtful about our skills. Self-validation helps you understand and love yourself better.